Everyone goes through changes within their lives.
You cannot stop the changes that are about to evolve. You can only look at them, learn from them and sense the feel.
It is hard when a change comes so unexpectedly that you are shocked at the way it made an impact.
When the change occurs within your life, you stop and think to yourself, “How could this happen”?.
We need to embrace the impact because this is how we will learn from them.
I have walked through many changes. Some where extreme and overwhelming.
I thought I had everything in order in my life. I had all the drama and hurt buried in a place that I knew would not come out.
Little did I know, the dirt started to scatter as the rain distorted what covered my pain. I decided that I would bury the pain instead of “confronting” the pain.
Once the Pain became known, I had an explosion of pain and sorrow. It was intense and emotionally I felt naked. Naked in the sense that I did not know how to handle nor defend my emotions. I was not prepared.
I took a subtle hold of myself and meditated on the situation. I became more at ease.
However, the small group of friends that I once had, became only a couple left.
Once chaos came, they decided to abandon me . Abandon me in a way that hurt me the most. I needed emotional support. It seems when they needed emotional support, I was always there, but when I needed it, excuses where made or they were no where to be found.
I realized in life that the few good friends that stood firm and helped me out with open arms where very slim.
I found to see the truth in my “Friends”. I got to see who was real and who were fake. It was not the best feeling to realize that the “true” friends you thought were your “Real” friends, where never true nor real. It was a rude awakening for me!
I thought of becoming a hermit and to shy away from the world. I thought of giving up on everything. I thought I was not worthy to be around anyone. I thought that if I would disappear without a trace, this would help me to be a better me. However, I remembered the grave I buried and how it came back with much greater force. The only way truly to be happy, is to confront the hurt, pain and sorrow. Bless them, Thank them for the learning experience, and to move on.
It is not easy, however changes are made for the better. Even if at the moment, you see it as the worse change ever, up ahead in a place that you cannot see, there is something bigger and better waiting for you.
I know this to be true. I have found it. I have cherished it and I am loving it.
I love my new life, the re-birth of me.
I truly love you, Lancelot.
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