I feel Helpless

I feel Helpless

I feel so hopeless. I feel that the world has a love/hate relationship with me.

It seems like when I feel like I am getting somewhere everything comes down on me like a ton of bricks and refuses to let me get up and walk. I get angry, tired, alone,violent, and helpless. I can't change my mind at the moment. I feel like everything is spinning around me. Ego laughs in my fucking face. It tells me that I am worthless and I will never live up to anything. It tells me that I need to feel defeated.

I feel helpless. I feel alone.

Where is the way out? I want to run, I want to get out!! Why cant I see anything?

I see shadows, I hear evil laughter, I am alone. Completely alone.

I scream, can anyone hear me? I cry and only feel tears showering my face. CAN ANYONE FUCKING HEAR ME???

I feel alone, alone, alone... Help me...

I am determined... I WILL get out of this! I know I can. Fuck ego. Fuck hate. Fuck loneliness..

I am determined to change the world. I cannot and refuse to keep feeling this way. Its fucking dark in here..I am walking, I cant see, but I know that I will get out. I bump into walls, I trip on the hard rocks in my way, But I am determined!! I will get out!! I will survive. I am a survivor!! I will triumph... There is something bigger and better for me when I get out, I just know it. I know that there will only be success at the end.

I will survive. I will win.. I know I will.