Girl Selling cookies Skit

Girl Selling cookies Skit

Sex you up

My body goes wild just thinking about you. I feel the sexual sensations going through my body. It races through my veins.

Knowing I will be with you. Knowing that I will be intimate with you. Knowing the wild things we will do. Knowing that soon we will unleash the beast within us. Knowing that you will cum inside of me. Knowing that you will fuck me in all ways possible. Knowing that you will drive me wild in bed, has me waiting very happy. I know that I need not be antsy as the day is soon to arrive.

As I am here thinking about you and my time to finally see you, My body jumps not only with Joy, but a overwhelming sensation of sexual vibrations run through-out. It runs wild and endless. It awaits for the release that you will give me. The release of your energy. The energy that you will give me. The one that will release all of my desires.

I will sex you up. I will love and enjoy to have sex with you everyday.

I will enjoy you. I will devour you. I will make you feel alive.

I cant wait to be with you. I cant wait to have you within my arms.

♥ I cant wait to love you endlessly ♥

wilderness

Not knowing where to go, where to turn. Walking through branches and leaves. I only seen the rays of sunlight coming from the heavens through the trees. Lost within my own wilderness, the dark came very quickly. It felt like the darkness would never go away. It was like torture. Something that I know I do not want to experience again.

Sleeping on the branches and leaves at night was rough. Knowing the unknown in the wilderness was scary. Not knowing where I was and where I would end up, it only made things to be confusing.

When light begin to arrive once more, it was assurance that I was alive another day. It was ease to know that I once again was able to open my eyes. No food to satisfy, only my mind of confusion took this away. I walked for hours. Nothing.

The sounds of the wind was extrememly gloomy. I heard the cries through the wind. The hurt that was carried through the feelings of this never ending forest. The feeling of hurt would sink into my skin and touch my bone. It then began to enter my veins and into my nervous system. Something so deep that it made my body tense and uncomfortable. I had to keep going.

Shiver running down my spine. It was like a sword slashing my spine. I felt like I could not take it anymore, but the only thing I could do was to keep on walking. Looking for a way out. Looking to leave this painful but evil forest.

Months of being lost and feeling pain. I knew I was soon to be out of this forest. The more I walked the less the pain became. I feel week and helpless but I know that I must keep walking. Not knowing where I would end up or what would be left of me, I kept going. Time was healing my wounds while I was walking.

I seen more sunlight. I see green pastures.. Wow, I am finally out. It has been a year.

I have finally made it out of the wilderness.

I seen someone from afar. My eyes hurt as the sunlight was bright. I knew nothing. I wondered what the endless path was taking me, but deep down I didn't care. I just knew that this was over and I wanted out.

When I walked towards the exit of this painful journey, I seen someone standing there. I was not sure who it was as I never seen this person before. As I walked closer it was a male. He was beautiful. He looked like an Angel..I blinked to assure what I was seeing, his features, he was carved by hands of Gods. He was beautiful. I could see his spirit. It was pure and loving. I was not sure what he was doing there. It was like he was there waiting for me. Nothing more but to wait here until I got out. Why would someone so pure in spirit, loving and beautiful want someone like me?

He spoke my name. I answered. His arms opened. He hugged me. I cried. He cried. It was you, my soulmate. Waiting for me to get out of this painful but powerful journey. He was there to greet me and love me..

This hard painful journey opened me up to a new journey that is endless in Love with you.

Amazing

I lay on my bed thinking if you will be as amazing as my Angels say you will.

Sex for us will be the motions of our soul. The inner guidance of Us. The connection of our love. The demonstration of what we are. Two freaks that can NEVER stop. An addiction to each other. The cocaine we will need in every moment.

We will have the most amazing sex that you and I will never be able to experience with anyone else.

When I go down on you under the sheets, you will experience being in outer space. Able to touch the sky and feel as one. You will have complete ecstasy around you. Something in the unimaginable category.

When I kiss your body, you will feel the sensations and tingly of electric overpowering your body. Something that will control your skin and you will feel helpless.

When I fuck you, you will feel complete numbness of cocaine in your veins. You will let me do what I want as you have no control and will want more of me. I will be your forever addiction.

When you cum, you will be in complete bliss. I will bring to you a new meaning to bliss. Something that you have thought of knowing in the past but this time around the bliss you will experience will be totally out of this world. Not only will we have passion but we will have love, ecstasy and the universe all tangled up in one and it will be the perfect moments of loving us.

When we have sex, I promise you that it will be totally Amazing.

I promise that you will want more of me as I will always want you.

We are Amazing together and forever will be!!

Never letting you go

Holding onto a thought of you is what I have. The only thing I have.

I never let you go in my thoughts. I refuse too. You are in my mind 24/7. Sometimes I start to bang my head just to take you out of my brain. Sometimes I ask my Angels to help me concentrate on something other than You and I Cant. I try to get you out, just for a minute. I imagine you showing me with your finger, motioning "No". I know you must think of me because I cant get you out of my mind.

I wonder if you can feel me thinking of you. I wonder if you feel the burning sensations I do from time to time. If you do, do you know it is me thinking about you? Do I come into your mind like you do mine?

I often think I need to let you go, but my heart and mind says otherwise.

It is like we are destined to be together. We are united by this energy. This powerful energy that drawls me towards you. This energy that over takes my body and mind.

When I hear a love song in the car, I think that maybe you sent it to me. I think maybe you have sent it to me so that I can know that you are thinking of me and that you are around. A sign that I am not alone.

I can never let you go. You are forever mine.

I will never let you go!!

Play with me!

I want you to be my toy friend. I want you to come and be what I want you to be. If one day I want to play hard with you, you will let me. If I want pure affection, you will be there to provide it. I want to do so many things with you.

I imagine myself pushing you into our closet, closing the door and making you my prisoner. I will unleash the wild side of me. I want to play until I am exhausted. I want to do things that you have never imagine. I want to Play, Play and Play. I will do things to you that you have never imagined. Things that you thought were never possible.

You will let me love you in so many ways. You will be there to support my crazy ideas I have for the both of us.

Not only will you be my man, but you will be my lover, my husband, my soul mate, my play toy. The one I can trust and do ANYTHING with. You will not be afraid of anything crazy I want to do as you will trust all of my crazy ideas. You will love them.

I will be that girl that all other girls envy. The one that will keep us happy. I will be the whore that you need in your life. I will be the playful one for you, the one that will have the exotic moves and remember, they are all yours. :)

Everyone will be watching while I dance all over you. They will want to be you. They will envy you. They will want to have someone like me as I will make you the boy toy I want you to be. I want you to feel all of my loving energy and sexual energy all over you. I claim you as mine. I will place my marks all over you. The ones only we can see. When you see them, you will remember how much I love you. You will see that I am always with you. I will show you how much you will miss me when we are not together because you will see the marks I left on you. You will want more of me. You will masturbate at all hours because you will want me. I will be your addiction your cocaine.

I love you and WE WILL be an eternal couple.

Erotic Perception

Alex and I were at our home. We were at the breakfast table eating breakfast and rushing the kids as we got up late in the morning. We had gotten them ready and walked them out to the school bus. The children were off to school. We waived goodbye while the school bus was pulling out. We walked back into the house. I started to clean off the kitchen table and as always, Alex helped out with the dishes.

I started to head towards the bedroom. Alex grabbed my waist. He said, ” You are so beautiful this morning as every morning. But today you have a certain glow about you. I smiled and said,” Babe, you know that this happens when a woman is pregnant. We are only in the first stage of our pregnancy.” I giggled. Alex replied, “Babe, ever since I saw you, you always had a glow, but today is different.” I replied, “OK, Hun… You always know what to say and when to say it”. I gave him a kiss. Then I walked off and like always, he smacked my ass while I walked off.

I walked into the bedroom. I heard Alex walking towards our bedroom. I was ready to get dressed as we had an appointment to the OBGYN for my second check-up. Alex always accompanied me as he wanted to be very involved with our pregnancy.

Alex walked into the bedroom, and as always he had the right words to say to me. This is one of the reasons I am head over heals for him. He always made me feel like the only one is his eyes. He made me feel very secure of our love. He would be silly at times. I guess because I was contagious and was always silly with him.

Alex said,” Pregnant or not pregnant, you are so sexy and I just want to fuck you all the time.” I replied, “We just made love this morning in the kitchen, you want more?” He replied, “Babe, I just cant get enough of you. You are what I always wanted and is it bad that I want to fuck my wife all the time?” I replied, ” You are lucky I cant get pregnant while I’m pregnant, we would have a football team already, with some extras”. I giggled. You started to giggle.

I was looking for clothes to wear. I had taken off my PJ’s and I only had my under garments on. Alex started to caress my back. We heard someone at the door knocking. Alex asked me if I was expecting someone. I nodded NO with my head.

Alex proceeded to the door. He opened the door and our friend Al was there. Al said, “I am sorry I came without notice, but I was in your neighborhood and Jesse Said she had some stuff for My son, so I thought I would stop by”. Alex, said “Oh,OK. She is in the bedroom right now getting ready so that we can go to our doctors appointment, but we have some time. Come in”. Al, walked into the house. I had the door open in my bedroom. I still was not able to find something to wear. I walked out of our bedroom with only panties and a bra.

I walked into the living room to my surprise of having Al in the living room. I thought, “Alex, didn’t tell me that Al was here”. I said, “Hey Al, sorry for greeting you like this, I didn’t know you were here”. Al replied, “I’m not sorry. This is a treat. I must admit, I have always wanted to see you this way.” Al started to laugh. Alex walked into the living room. He started to laugh.. I looked at Alex and said,”Babe, you are sooo bad..” Alex said, “Honestly, I forgot to tell you but Hun, this is funny”. Al replied,”I thought this was a nice present for me,but thanks for forgetting”. I said, “Al, what else would be a present for you. Ask and maybe you will receive”. Alex started to laugh.. I looked at Alex and said, “Babe, you said you wanted more action, maybe you will get it.. You asked..”. I giggled.

Al looked at me with a big surprise in his face and said,” I always wanted to touch your breasts, do you mind”? I giggled and said, ” That is all? OK”.. Al approached me and started to caress my breasts.. I looked at Alex and said, “Babe, you see how he is touching me right?” Alex, nodded Yes. I said, “OK, watch and learn babe. I know you are the money maker but you also need to use your hands on me like Al does.” Alex nodded Yes again. Alex was standing watching. He had his arms folded and he bit his lower lip. This was a sign that he liked what he was seeing.

I then grabbed Al’s dick and said, “Do you want me?” Al looked at Alex and said,”I want a piece of your wife” Alex said,” As long as you can satisfy her and I can watch. She is desirable but, you must please her”. Al said,” Oh, I will and Yes you can watch”.

Al started to take my bra off. He started to kiss my neck. He started to caress my back. God, I love it when a man caresses my back. It feels so nice and sexual. My body automatically gets turned on by the touch of a mans hands on my back.

Al, was not sure what to do as he was not used to making out with his wife’s friend. Nonetheless having the husband starring.I wanted to make him comfortable. I was afraid he will bail on us and I know this is what excites Alex. I wanted to pleas Alex. I love Alex so much. He and I live to make each other Happy.

I started to take off Al’s clothes. I started by taking off his shirt. You could see in his blue eyes that he wanted to fuck me. His eyes are small blue eyes but today they were big and full of excitement with some lust. Al started to suck my breasts even more. I then pushed him on the sofa. I straddled over him. I started to kiss his chest. Then his neck. Then I started to kiss his lips. While I kissed him, I started to unzip his pants.

Alex was watching. I looked over at Alex and said,”Help me take off his pants babe. Do something to help me”. Alex smiled and headed over towards us and helped me to take of Al’s pants. I started to move my pussy over his underwear. I felt his dick get harder. I then said, “Alex, I want you to take off my panties”. Alex obeyed.

I then took Al’s dick out of his underwear. I started to ride Al in very slow motions. Al loved what he felt. Al said,”Oh man, this is good. I see why Alex will never leave you. Alex, you have a wonderful and sexy wife”. Alex watched. Having his fingers on his lips while folding his arms, he giggled. I said, “Al, shut up and fuck me. If you dont listen as I am in charge, I will punish you.” Al said,”No, No punishments, Please”.

You could see in Al’s face he wanted to cum early. He could not hold it as he loved the way I was moving my body on him.

“Alex” I yelled. “Kiss me, I want you to play with me today”. Alex obeyed. He walked towards me. He knew that I loved to feel the touch of his hands on my back. He started to caress me. He started to kiss my back, while I was fucking Al. Al was excited as he seen Alex kissing my back. Al could not hold it any longer. He started to cum. I looked at Al and said, “Bad boy”.. So I stood up and told Al that he needed to watch me cum with Alex. He was bad and he is punished. He needs to see instead of feel what I was going to do. Al had a pout on his face.

Al, sat on the chair where I told him too. I pushed Alex on the couch. I had cum running down my legs from Al. Alex started to undress himself. He seen all of Al’s cum running down from my pussy. I then straddled Alex. He was already hard. I looked over at Al and said, “Look bad boy, watch what you are missing. I could have don’t this to you.. You are a BAD BOY”. I started to fuck Alex.

Alex looked at me. He smiled but in his eyes, you could see the pleasure his wife was giving him.

I kissed Alex all over his chest. Gliding my tongue up and down his throat. I was moving my body in an exotic way. Alex loved it.

Alex wanted to cum. Alex was very excited.

I took his dick out of my pussy. He had Al’s cum on his hard dick. I started to suck Alex’s Dick. He started to cum. I had cum in my mouth from Al and Alex. Al seen me suck Alex like a lolly pop. He was regretting finishing early.

I looked over at Al. I had cum dripping from my mouth. I said,”See Al, look what you missed, You Bad Boy”.

Are you scared?

I started to think about you today. As you know, this is nothing different.

I have been overwhelmed with work today. I am blessed. I am not complaining, I'm overwhelmed. I wish you were here, so I could have at least a smile of yours in front of me so that I have something to look forward too.

I will have an overwhelming week. I need to go by the radio station tomorrow and do another radio show, as I do once a month. This means more work. Again, not being ungrateful. I just wish you were by my side so that I could feel some support.

I need a cheerleader by my side at times. It gets old, doing the same old thing every single day. I wonder if you feel the same way?

I sometimes see you online, I am sure you are busy like I. I wonder if you will take the time to say Hi. Wow, this hurts when you don't. But, I understand. You are busy. Will it be this way when we are together? I often wonder if this will be the case. I feel like I am abandoned and not needed. I wonder if this is how our life will be? I usually think that if it starts off this way, will it always be this way?

Maybe, you are scared and not knowing through the unknown you feel protective and do not want to get close?

I am lost within my own body. I am lost within you. Why do I feel this way? I am supposed to feel secure. I am supposed to feel that you love me or feel for me.

I am not sure what to feel. The only thing I can think of is that you are scared? You tell me what you think.

I do not want to get hurt or start something that will not last. I REFUSE and know that you will appreciate my feelings.

But Lancelot, I am scared too. I am in the unknown just like you.

I guess this is normal. However it may be, just know that I love you!!

Lonely life

Have you ever watched a movie and you could feel a strong connection with it. The movie leaves you dumbfounded and you feel butterflies and a deep burning sensation that you just cannot take out of your stomach? Then you think about the movie all darn day and you find yourself just day dreaming of the movie and you play yourself as the main character?

Well, I had one of these moments. At the end you find yourselves with tears in your eyes, asking the same ole darn question of "WHEN"?

Then you feel alone and sometimes lost in your own journey. I sometimes look outside the window, just asking the same question to the Universe and just hope or wish to hear an answer in return of my favor. Of course I get an inner feeling or sensation. I am so impatient at times. This is my downfall. I need patience I know. Its been so long.. It has been a year since my last frog. This time around, i know that i am determined however, I feel like the right person will never come. The one I know that will be a perfect fit seems to disappear and it makes me wonder if it is? I am not sure why I feel this way. Insecurities maybe? But when I think about it, its like not normal. Not normal because the average relationship keeps in touch some way somehow. You might say, yeah but busy life gets in the way. Its funny because I know I have a hectic and busy life. But I find at least a minute of my time to reach out and show my love. I feel as if I am just another number of so many.

It hurts, but then I start to realize that the distance is a factor. The distance plays a big role. So, I cannot expect too much. I just wish men would have a little more consideration to womans feelings. Dont lead someone on and then just disappear. This is a big heart stommper on us girls. Maybe this is one of the causes that fail in a relationship. NO COMMUNICATION. I cannot stress this enough. Maybe I am just weird. Maybe I should be alone all of my lonesome life..

This is my lonley life.

Loca Luna Night

Lat night, I had gone to Loca Luna. This is a hot spot in Atlanta. This night is a different night. A different night because this will be my last party night for awhile. I have had my share of fun for the past several months.

I am determined that since, the warm weather is around the corner, I will dedicate the weekends to my kids.

Last night, I went to Loca Luna with a friend and my mother. Yes, my mom.. She is not your ordinary mom(This is another subject..LOL).

When we got there, we started to dance. This is what I go to do. I love to dance. This is a great way to exercise your body.. LOL

We met up with some friends. He had brought other guy friends to the club. I danced sooo much with Joey and his friends. We laughed and had so much fun. I was dancing with three of them at a time. I would pull any random guy to dance with us. I must admit, these guys looked surprised but danced me down..LOL It was soooo much fun.

I had all these girls looking at me.. They smiled. I don't understand, why not have fun? I know that more than half of these girls would have loved to be in my position. They wont admit this. This is sad. They seen the fun I was having, the men around me.

I wish men would be more open with their partner and just have plain old fun. Let your girlfriends go out and dance with guys. This is fun, to have fun. Don't be insecure, trust me... She will not go anywhere. She will feel more secure for this relationship you both have and she will see that you indeed trust her and have your relationship become stronger.

My friend was having so much fun. I seen her out there getting down. I was really happy to see her, get down and become who she needs to be on the dance floor. Releasing her stress and being her without being scared. She is an awesome person. She is very attractive and she was releasing what she needed to release a long time ago..

There was this one incodent that I had guys come up to me and ask me to dance. My feet really hurt. They asked and asked. There were two guys that would not stop (Too persistant). I was irritated because if you see that a girl keeps on saying NO to you, then go ask someone else. These guys would stare at me when I danced and they didn't want to take NO for an answer. So, guess what I did??.. I grabbed the first random guy around me. I hugged him. I told the guys that were asking me to dance that he was my boyfriend. The guy, caught on really quick. He hugged me back and told the guy, "Yes, she is my girlfriend". The guys face turned red and said they were sorry. I know, this sounds mean but hey, I kept on saying NO.. They never came back. So it worked.

The night ended. We were on our way out. I was searching for my friend and mom to leave. I found them. We were walking out. We said goodbye to Joey and his friends. When I turned around, my friend was gone. I was really worried because she was really drunk. I am the young one of the group and always the sober one. I am always the designated driver. I guess it is the mother in me. Not sure. But, I looked all over for her. She was nowhere to be found. I told my mom that we needed to walk to the car to see if she was there.

We started to walk to the car. This HOT guy was walking in front of us. He turned to us and he seen me have my mother on my arm as she had drunk a little too much. He asked if we were OK. I replied. I said that we were fine. My mother asked him if he was OK. He said he was. He grabbed a hold of my arm and we started to walk towards the car. We looked like the Wizard of Oz movie.. Except, no yellow brick road.. LOL . We talked.We walked towards his car as it was on the way to my mothers car. Then he stayed at his car. I walked to my moms car and Joeys friends started to walk down.I noticed that my friend was not at the car. I told them that my friend was nowhere to be found. I was worried because we had some guys that were trying to take us home for the night. They were pretty persistent. I was afraid that they had picked her up along the way. Joeys friend and I started to walk up and a car came with two guys in it. They delivered my friend to us.. LOL It was scary. Of course like a mom would do, I told her what a mother would say.. LOL

We walked towards the car. We all got in the car. I took the wheel and started to head out of the parking lot.. Then we noticed the hot guy that was at his car smoking.He was smoking outside of his car. We pulled over and asked him if he was ok to drive. He said yes, but you could tell that he wasn't. We sat there for a couple of minutes, talking. My mom and my friend told me that I needed to drive him. I told him that I would drive him to his home. After going back and fourth a little, I took his keys and drove his sports car. I must admit, he had a hot ride.. LOL Anyway, my mom ended up driving her car. I was a little worried because she had drank. I had two cars and I the only sober one.

My friend called me while I was driving his car and they were following me. She asked to stop at Waffle house. I asked the guy if he didn't mind. He said no. We headed to Waffle house. This guy is a great guy. We talked a lot. He is single, and 29. He is a very respectful person. We spoke about our astrology signs, relationships, My kids and just random things. It was fun to be around a complete stranger and just listen to what their thoughts were. The most wonderful thing that he said to me was, "When I get married, I hope my wife would looks like you after having 5 kids". This made my entire night. He, like everyone else tells me that i do not look as I have 5 kids and look young.

We finally arrived at a Waffle house. We got out of the car. It was freezing cold outside. I didnt have my jacket as it was left in my mom's car. He saw that I was cold and he gave me his jacket. We walked in. We immediately sat down. We all were in the booth, laughing and talking. Then a fight started behind us. OMG, it has been awhile since i seen a fight in public, nonetheless in a Waffle house. LOL There was this chick that started to beat on this guy. She started to call him all this stuff and the police needed to be called. That was the excitement at Waffle House.

We left Waffle House at 5AM. I know, really late or should I say early... The guy was sober enough to drive home. He asked me if I wanted to go home with him. I cannot deny that he was a very hot guy. I was tempted too. I didn't take him up on his offer, and I went home.

This was my last wild night out. Last because I have other plans for me.. LOL Ok, so maybe on hold, until Lancelot and I are together?? LOL

Feeling lonliness without you!

Today, I was out with my clients. They have been married for a quite awhile (I believe over 10 years). I can honestly say, that while we were looking at their future home, they were so excited. They were pointing out the rooms that their children will occupy. The children are excited as they will have bigger rooms. The home is beautiful.

The couple started to go up the stairs. I waited as they walked up. They went into the master bedroom. Then walked into the laundry room. While I was walking up the stairs, they were kissing in the laundry room. I hear their kisses and giggles as they heard me walking the stairs. I thought to myself, "Wow, this is true love that they have. When will mine come?". I then walked towards the play room. So that they could have their privacy. I was feeling wonderful for them. It just made me realize how much I miss you. How much I need you by my side.

Then I started to imagine a home like theirs but with us. It felt so wonderful and real. It felt like I was loved for an instant.

While I was with this family that also happens to be friends of mine, It is beautiful. Beautiful because this is the love I want in my life. This is the love that I so want. I want to be in love with you forever. I don't want to have the love that I see that most marriages have (Just a marriage). Even though this couple does NOT have the love that most people have, as they are TRUE soul mates. You can see the love and respect they have for each other. They are in love all over again when they see each other. This is the love that I want in my life. This is the TRUE love I will have in my life with you. This is not a doubt or a worry, I know this for a fact.

God said, ask and you shall receive. All that know me, know me as a very spiritual person. Someone that loves life and my children. I am this. I have asked and am grateful to receive. The universe will assure that you and I come together and be what we need to be. As one. As a whole. The missing piece of the puzzle. The piece that can share our wholeness.

I love you Lancelot and cannot wait until I feel your arms, warm body, skin and hear you talk to me.

How can you love someone so much like this without knowing them? I am not sure but Golie, I have it for you.

Until the end

Waiting is the hardest part. Waiting for the right moment. Waiting until we meet again.

I often wonder when we meet, will we have an instant spiritual pull?

Will we instantly feel that we knew each other before?

How will our facial expressions be?

Will we be surprised?

Will we see love at first sight?

What will we say?

I often wonder what will we do the first day we see eachother?

Will we walk?

Will we talk?

Will we meet for dinner?

Will we just meet up for a drink?

Will we have sex on the first day? (Honestly, I want too... LOL)

One thing I DO know. I will Love you until the end!!

Listen to your heart!

Listen to your heart. Especially at night when everything is quiet. When all is asleep, this is when you will most hear me. I send you messages at night. Even when you think I am sleeping. At times I cant sleep and I whisper messages to you, then I giggle. I giggle because I wonder if you can hear me. I ask my Angels to send you peace and rest.

The day you want to let me go, listen to your heart. See what your heart says and feels. Ask if you should let me go, Because from the bottom of your heart, I know that you should not let go. I know it will want you to be eternally with me.

Listen to the beats of your heart. Listen to it as it becomes melodies. Listen to it become a loving tune. As it sounds soothing, you will hear the melodies of a love song. It is an old love song. A love song that we used to listen too and look into each others eyes knowing that we would love each other in that life and the one to come. The life of now.

I cannot wait until we are together again. I will hear the love songs in your heart when I lay my head on your chest. When I feel your warm skin next to mine. When I feel you hug me while I am on your chest. I will remember some of the memories that I had let go when we had transitioned to this life. I feel the burning sensations in my stomach when I think about this and when I think about you.

I know I miss you and this will be temporary. I know that we will unite again. I know that we will be together again. I feel it so close. I know the anxiety I feel when I think about you. But time is needed to develop us into whom we need to be so that when we reunite, it will be perfect as it should be.

Listen to your heart, when you are sad, down or stressed. Know that the love melody we once listened too is there. It will sooth you. It will turn your anxiety, thoughts into soothing melodies that will have you at peace.

Listen to your heart sweet Lancelot, as I am waiting for you!!

Racism

This mundane world has a problem with racism. You know I never knew what racism was until I moved here. I am not saying that the state I live in is complete racist, however I have seen it more here than anywhere else that I have lived.

I was born in Puerto Rico. I was raised in a little country side in Lancaster County, PA. I was raised in a Caucasian community. We only knew what was surrounded by us and that was Amish and Caucasian. I must admit, I love the atmosphere in which I grew up in. I went to school with a population that was 99% Caucasian. We were the only Hispanics (I Believe) in our school, until High school.

I have not once experienced racism in school nor in my up bringing. My step father was Caucasian and they were very racist. When they found out that my step father did not marry Caucasian, they were not fond of the idea. My step-grandmother, did not really want us over at her house. She then admitted to my mother that one day we had gone over to her home. I went up to her and hugged her around her legs. I told her that I loved her. I asked her If she was going to be my new grandma. She said that she realized then, that it was not my fault that I was Hispanic. She then loved us as one of her own.

I did not know what a green card was or nonetheless what a tortilla was until I was 13. yes, I am naive at times, I must admit. I did not know that there were other Hispanics out there that were not Puerto Rican. Lame, I know. But I did not grow up knowing that there were different Hispanics out there. We felt like we were Caucasian.

I start to think if the world thought like me when I was naive of my surroundings, this world would be completely different. The only thing that we would know is that we were all the same. We just ate (Cultural foods) and spoke (Dialects, languages) differently at times. We would all not have a care in this world and continue on like nothing matters BUT OUR OWN LIVES.. This is how we all should live.

My kids are half Puerto Rican and Half Mexican. They were all born here in the USA.

My uncles did not want me to marry Mexican. They stopped talking to me for years. They believed that i should have married Puerto Rican or caucasian. One thing that I did not know was that Mexican and Puerto Ricans did not get along. We were enemies. Hehehe, I laughed because I wondered, "Who made this stupid rule"? It was true. They didn't get along.

My uncles after years down the road, started to talk to me. But our relationship was never the same.

My kids get teased at school because they are "Mexicans". Wow, I didn't know that they were going to get teased this much over being something other than who were teasing them. Its sad because the parents are the ones that feed this bullshit into their heads. I have neighbors that do not talk to me because they think i am "Mexicans". They treat me different. I don't even get the neighborhood e-mails. They don't wave to me because they think I am Mexican. You tell me, how can someone being accused of something they are not, be racist? I am not. I have no knowledge of what that is, other than , I am feeling what it is to be something I am not. Who cares, if i were or not? Does it matter??

My sister in law is African American. This is another thing that cracks me up. I out of respect call "Black" an African American out of respect. Some people do not like it because they feel that I am calling them African and they are not African but black.. Who cares?? Really, who cares. We are all the freaking same. My brother-in law is from the Philippines and we always go to Florida to party with his family. We have a BLAST!!

Why do we all have to hate everyone else for being different? I Love to be different. This is what makes me be me. I want to be different. So, I get condoned in being different? This is not fair. It should be a privilege to be different. Even Caucasian is different if they go to a foreign country. So what is the big deal.

Tell me something. Why is it that everyone is angry over race?

OK, so you don't like the fact that they take over American Jobs? How big was America at one time? Not very big until they came and STOLE Mexican soil because they wanted Mexico to pay a HUGE loan lent by the American government. What happened? They took their soil. The Mexican government stole the whole countries money and they became broke once again over night. Have you seen how they live? I did.. there is a huge community that live in card board boxes. I seen it, so I can tell you. Not to mention that everyone attacks to Mexicans for taking jobs, how about Chinese, Africans, Indians, Brazil and all the other foreign countries that have their people come over here. Most of them do not have a valid reason. Their country is not as poor as others. So, why attack only Mexicans and not other ethnicities?

So, I understand more when they come here for a job. You may say... How is this my problem?? Be human.What if it were you? You would not criticize. Be human. One day you might be in the same boat. Just because you are well off know, does not mean you will be in a year or two. Before anyone makes a judgement, study up on history. Know the facts. Don't comment because your friend did. How lame and ignorant is that?

I have been touched by racism as it has happened to me. I KNOW how it feels. I can tell you that it is not a good feeling. So change.. Change your thinking. Find your OWN heart.. Don't find it through someone Else's ego pain.

Everyone makes judging easy.. Don't do it, you don't like it when someone does it to you.!! I know I am right about this, no one likes it.. So, change be a better YOU!! Change your surroundings by action, not words. DO IT.. Lets shine. Lets shine high and great. You will gain more respect then agreeing with the lame, stupid ignorant person talking about others.

lets love and stomp on hate. Trust me, it will make you a better person and you WILL feel better!!

Prisoner within me

I am a prisinor within my own self. I feel trapped not able to get out. I feel like I cannot scream, because if I do, no one will hear me.

I hear the rain fall outside and I want to run out and scream. Scream with no ending. I will be drenched and will not care if it is cold outside. What is this life for? Why am I here? Why do I want to live?

Do you hear me? Does anyone care? I hurt. My pain is huge, it touches my bone and I shiver. I cannot control myself. I want to die..

Why am I here. Who cares anymore.

I feel like running out into my backyard, into the woods and run with no destination. Run until I cannot find anything. My feet will hurt, get cut, scrapped. I wont care. I cant get this pain out of my body. Its unbearable. I cant stand it anymore.

I hear my own screams. No one there to help. My face hurts as I have cried too much. I feel numb from all the crying. My body is week from walking. My feet hurt from the cuts of the branches and rocks on the ground.

I want to end this pain. Why do I hurt so bad? Why cant I get this pain out of my heart, my veins, my flesh?

Why? Why? Why? WHY??

Can anyone hear my cries? Why don't I feel anyone coming to my rescue? Why cant I feel arms around my body to sooth me?

Please, Please, Please, anyone..... Hear me... Hear my cries...

I am shivering, not because it is cold, because I cant feel you. I cant find you. I hurt........

Life is so hard without you. I need you to pick up my pieces. I need you to heal the hurt in my heart. I ache. You are nowhere to be found. I feel filthy. I feel miserable. I feel like a soulless person. I have no control over me.

I am a prisoner within me.

Two is better than One

Two is better than one.

I know I don't want to be alone all my life. I need you there with me. I need you there to live our life in a whole.

A relationship is very important to me. It is a way where we can bond and grow together. We can together grow ourselves in greatness. Our love is something that needs to be as one. With no guilt, ego, non-judgemental or hate. We will experience a greatness of love that we have not felt in this lifetime. We will have unconditional love.

I could end up to be as one and stay as one, but I know I would not be completely happy. I am happy now, I have my life settled. I have my emotions in check. I have no emotional baggage. I love my life. I love my kids. I love you. These are reasons that I want to be two instead of one.

When I am alone and the kids are asleep, this is when I feel being alone the most. I know that if you were here with me, I would not feel alone. I need you so that I can feel your body, to have someone to talk too. I need you so that I can have conversations with you. I want you to feel a whole with me too. I am sure that you feel alone like me. So why feel this way? Lets change our ways and let this feeling go away?

This is why Two is better than one.

Making Love to you!

Making love to you would be just like I have dreamed it to be..

Making love to you, feeling your warm body, your warm skin against mine would make my skin feel tingly of excitement.

I can imagine the very first time that you and I are together it will be complete paradise.

*****

You and I excited to be together and make sweet love. We are in your room. We are kissing each other. Your lips very warm and soft against mine. Your tongue against mine. We kiss slowly. We kiss with love. It has passion. You take your right hand and start caressing the back of my neck underneath my long brown hair. Your left hand rubs my back up and down. I hear in your breathing that you want me.

I start to caress your back while we kiss with both hands. Not knowing if I should go further. Not knowing when it would be a good time to proceed. I feel your right hand start touching my back. I then feel your hands going towards the front of my body. I feel you unbuttoning my blouse. We are still kissing. I hear you breath a little deeper.

You take off my blouse. I feel your hands touching my breasts over my pink bra. I feel your hands caressing my breasts and going down onto my stomach and caressing. I feel very horny but I want the moment to last. I want this moment to last forever. Like a broken record that stays on the same tune.

You struggle a little to take off my pink bra. Finally, you were able to take it off. I feel you taking it off completely. You then start to touch my bare breasts. I hear you mumble. You gently lay me on your bed. You start to suck my breasts and play with my nipples with your tongue.I start to caress your hair. Your hair falls in between my fingers. My body is charged with loving energy, awaiting to be released in ecstasy. I feel tingly sensations through-out my body. I feel my blood rushing. I want you to fuck me, but I know that I must wait so that I can enjoy this moment, enjoy you.

You start to kiss my neck and I gently pull forward and pull off your shirt. I start to kiss your chest. OMG, this warm beautiful body of yours. It makes me want to devour you. I want to devour you in a way that you have never been devoured in your life. In a way that wants me to eat you and have you inside of me. Where you can always be with me. Where we can literally be ONE, a whole.

I start to unbuckle your belt. Unbutton your pants, unzip them I did. You were standing up while I was sitting on your bed. I take my hands and I pull down your pants. I seen your white underwear. I slowly pull them down. I start to giggle. I have a huge smile on my face.

I take your hard dick in my hands and feel the hardness of it but I feel your skin so soft. I take my mouth and I place your hard dick into it. I start to suck softly. I feel your dick and your veins. I feel your hands on my head. I feel your hands gently pushing my head as you love the way I suck your hard dick. I hear your breathing as it is getting heavier than ever.

You lay me back down on your bed. It feels so soft on my bare back. You start to unbutton my pants. You pull them off. I feel your hands taking my pink panties off. I feel your hands gliding from my hips to my breasts. You start to kiss me and you touch my bare breasts. You then place your dick into my sacred canal. This had my body tingle even more. It was a sensation I barely remember. You touched me and made love to me so gently. I was wet. So wet, you could feel it and you loved it. You loved the way I lubricated your dick. It entered so easily.

I started to kiss your neck with passion. A little more than just gentle. You kissed me too, it was a little more than just gentle. I wanted to cum but I held it because I wanted more of you. This was so precious. Precious because it was with you. My perfect piece. The one I have been waiting for. This was soooooo worth the wait.

I whispered in your ear, "My turn to drive". You giggled and we both turned so that I would be on top. This was the best part. I love to be in control. Taking control and taking over is what I love.

I started to move my body on your dick. I started to move my body on your dick in an exotic way, this felt new to you. I hear you mumble once more. I could not make out what you were saying. But, I knew you were where you needed to be. You were loving me. You were feeling me. You were wanting more.

I was riding you. I could not hold back. I started to cum. I started to breath heavy. You can see in my reaction I was in complete ecstasy.

I can tell you that when I had cum, I can feel the stars shining, the moon extremely bright and the sounds of the earth alive. Like if life itself was happy and with complete joy that we were together. It was like everything around us was finally together.. It is weird to explain. But, I just knew that everything around us, even the air was just right, complete, whole, in union just like us.

You seen how my body was in ecstasy. I had passion that ran through my entire body, the passion was in my blood, running through my veins. You started to cum. I rode you even harder because I knew you were in complete bliss. I felt the cum all in and around my pussy. I knew that you loved the way I made love to you.

Making love to you is like something I have never experienced in this lifetime. It was something that I would want to experience over and over again. It is something that I want to feel every second, minute or hour of every day. I would not hesitate to consume you and have you within me to feel the ecstasy that you cause when we are together.

When We finished making love, I layed on you chest, I looked up to you and whispered , "I Love You".

This is how making love to you will feel!!

You Mark my heart with your name!

Love is in the making!

Can you imagine being able to witness the making of your love life?

Lets think for a minute.

What if you can see your soul mate. See the universe making everything perfect for both of you. See different events unfold to make your encounter perfect. Being able to know it all in detail. Feeling the emotions of having to see the perfect half of you coming into your life. This would be the most wonderful feeling in your life, i would think.

This is where I am in my life. I see it all unfolding for me. I feel him. I think about him.

The ironic thing is that I feel him closer than ever. I trust that the Universe is going to hand deliver him to me. I know that feeling and thinking of how everything is unfolding right in front of me, it is a wonderful feeling but scary. Scary because, you know you will meet your soul mate, the one you are destined to be with. The one that will be there with you until the end. Sounds wonderful but when you encounter him, the very first time, what will you say? What will you do? How would you feel?

The making of ones love being unfolded is magnificent. I wish everyone could experience something so beautiful as this.

The only problem is, is that we all tend to settle for someone less than our expectations. Why do we do this and end up to be unhappy?

We all become impatient. We all become this person of wanting whatever it may be but in the Now.

Think about this. Creation was made in pairs, right? A Yin and a Yang?

So, our pair that was made for us, the perfect missing peice is out there. We need to be patient and wait for him/her to come.

I must admit, this is easier said then done, but with the past two frogs in my life, I cannot afford to settle or have an odd piece. I must have the perfect piece. The one that was made for me. The one that fits me perfectly.

How will you love me?

I often ask myself this question. How will you love me?

I have faith and know that you will love me very purely. You will always be very considerate of my feelings. You will always know what is needed in my life. Even if it is a hug, Kiss, Pencils for the kids or even toilet paper that is needed for the home. You are extremely considerate and have a strong But caring heart. You are sensitive at times and always show me how much you love me. Not by words or money but by actions. You will show me with your wonderful intentions that you have.

I know that I do not know everything about you. There are things that you will do on your own. Things that I wont even think of. Things that will have me head over heals for you because for me, the little things are the best and the most romantic things.

I can see you bring home a flower. Not any old flower. You will pass by an abandoned piece of land. Look over and see the natural wild flowers that grow. You know that my favorite color is purple and you will pick the purple flowers or weeds that grow. You will come into the house while I am in the kitchen. You will ask for your princes and our daughter will come out. You will give her some flowers and she will say. "Thank you Daddy, I Love You". This will make my heart melt and love you even more. You will turn to me and say, "These are for my queen". I will hug you and give you a kiss and whisper into your ear,"This is why I love you so much".

I believe this is how you will love me.

I am your Angel!

When he came home from work, as usual he walked in and gave a huge sigh. I think it was a sigh of relief to be home but at the same time, he thought, "once again home alone".

He really wanted to have a companion with him. He also is very picky and secure in what he wants. He will not settle for anyone as he refuses too and he should. No one should settle so that they are not feeling alone.

He walks in, and places his jacket over the chair. He goes straight to the kitchen and takes out something to eat and heat. While he heats his food, he takes off his shoes, tired from a long days work he starts to take off his shoes slowly and thinks about everything he still needs to do and all that happened at work. He is frustrated in his life because his head is filled with things. Things to him that are important, but he has no control of. He knows this, so this frustrates him more.

He turns on his notebook. He hears the sound of his food. He proceeds to the kitchen to get his food out to eat as he sees that it is done. He turns on the TV to get a quick glimpse of the news or of what is left of it. He starts to eat his food while watching the news. When a commercial breaks, he starts to remember that he is alone. He thinks about how great it would be to have his soul mate with him. He thinks that he wants to have a good laugh and conversations of their day. He starts to wonder how she would greet him. How their conversations will start and if she would be a good cook or would he need to take some cooking classes so that he could help her on occasions.

He then snaps out of his thought and looks back at the TV as something catches his attention.

He finishes eating his meal. He then turns to his e-mail. He checks his mail and starts reading mail from different people that has sent him emails and checks his social network page. As he always does, he releases another sigh and hopes to one day have an email from his soul mate that he so wishes for. He gets up from his chair and decides to shower and rest a little.

He goes into his bedroom and picks out some comfortable clothes and takes a shower. He turns on the shower and once more, starts thinking about his work. How stressful it is for him. He loves his profession and he does not want to let it go. He wants something different. A motivator. he knows that he wants someone in his life, but not just anyone. He wants his soul mate. He starts to wonder what his soul mate would look like and what are the things that she must have to qualify as his soul mate.

He starts to wash his body with soup and wash cloth. The water is falling on his head while he washes his legs and feet. He is thinking she has long dark brown or maybe black hair. Then he starts to wonder if the eyes should be clear or dark. He settles for brown eyes. He starts to mentally think in his head that brown eyes are not rare. Then something just clicked in his head. He thought, the eyes, must be something special. It must tell me about her. It must talk to me. It must tell me everything with only one glimpse. Not everyone has eyes like this. Her eyes must be a man eater, seductive. I MUST be drawn to her through her eyes. This is how I will know it is her. He starts to think about her body. Well, her body must have some shape. Not too thin nor too big. I want her to be average. Not miss model and not too meaty. I want her average. If she has a roll or so, it is OK. Then he started to think about her attitude. This was a big one for him. She must be sweet, loving, kind.... oh, and cannot be jealous nor Non-judgemental. I want her to care about all that is around her. She must be loving.She must be Real.

After thinking about this, he started to think to himself, wow these are a lot of qualities. Can I really find someone like this? He receives an immediate thought in his head. His thought was "Of course you can". So he is very content with this thought in his mind. He smiles. He gets out of the shower and dries off.. He starts to put on his underwear and shorts. Then he puts on his t-shirt. He is now comfortable.

He walks out of the shower, refreshed. He sits back down to his notebook as he is bored. He feels his Bord and wants to entertain his mind. He does not want to think about things from work today as it drains him and he wants to be entertained mentally.

He then checks his e-mail and writes back to those that have written to him. He checks his social network again and then decides to turn off his notebook. The phone rings. He answers and it happens to be a family member. He starts to talk over the phone and finishes. He lays in his comfortable queen/king size bed.

His thoughts of her comes in his mind. These thoughts of this future girl and wanting her in his mind soothes him and brings a smile to him. He loves to fantasize about her. He is in heaven when thoughts of this girl is in his head.

He is tired and is ready to doze off. He doesn't want to sleep just yet as he wants to think about her and keep her in his mind. He suddenly feels comfort. He feels a sense of ease. He does not know why. At times he feels a overwhelming sense of love that controls his body. He feels secure and loved. In the back of his mind he knows that it is her soul coming to visit. He grasps on to this because he loves the energy that he feels. He falls asleep with a huge smile. He sleeps.

Little does he know that I was the one to be there with him everyday and every night. My angels and I never want him alone!

I love you Lancelot

I’m a loser

I’m a loser

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Unknown Path

As I walk this unknown path. Only guidance from the Angles that I hold dear to my heart, I walk in hand with my children. Thinking about all the happiness we have in our hearts. Thinking about how whole and fulfilled we are. The only piece that is missing is YOU. The strength that will help keep us up and going. We only wait for the addition to our family. We walk in inspiration of you.

We feel your energy, this sustains us. We feel your love, this keeps us full. We feel how strong you are, we feel secure. We feel your happiness, this keeps our laughter. We feel your positive energy, this gives us more energy.

I protect my children and myself from all of the frogs around us. I want to stay secure of you, as you are no frog. You are a prince waiting to become my king. So you can raise with the riches of our family. You can raise with greatness of our love.

We walk this path and there is green pastures surrounding us. The flowers are in bloom and the fragrance is wonderful. The sky is crystal clear and very blue. The birds flying in delight. The birds chirping and watching us walk. There is a rainbow that is over our path. Trees bow as we walk by. Butterflies are flying. We hear the crickets. We see several pray-mantis. The soft warm breeze caresses our face.

We laugh and point at the beauty mother nature has to offer.

My daughter is looking for her new daddy, my son has his baseball glove on waiting to play with his new father.

We are walking into bliss, as we know that you are in it awaiting us so we can be in eternal bliss.

We are waiting for you, We love you!!

Pleasure and fun

Mark and Alex were sitting on the couch when I got home. I walked through the door and they were talking. They were talking about worldly issues and everything else happening in the world. I walked in after doing some shopping at the grocery store and a quick stop at the mall.

When I walked in, Alex got up to greet me. I looked over at Mark and gave him a smirk. Alex, kissed me with passionate kiss. It was a kiss of passion but not a long one. Alex grabbed the bag of groceries. While he walked into the kitchen, I greeted Mark. He got up and kissed me. Mark gave me a long passionate kiss. He then caressed my neck. Mark told me I looked very beautiful in my dress.

I was wearing a dress. Like any time I wear a dress, I never wear panties.
Mark told me how he loved how the dress looked on me. I smiled at him and said, "Thank you Mark. I know how much you love this dress". Alex, was silently putting away the groceries, while I was talking to Mark in the living room. Mark looked at me and said, "How wet can I get your pussy?" I replied, "I don't know Mark, try me and see how wet I can get".

Mark looked over into the kitchen. I said, "Mark, dont worry about Alex.. Lets see how wet you can make me". Mark started to kiss me. He kissed me with so much passion. His passion was very intense. Its like he had not had sex in a very long time. He was very passionate and devoured every part of me. He started to suck and kiss my neck. You could hear him breathing deeply as this is how badly he wanted me.

He started to grab my back and held me close. He wanted to feel my breasts close to him. He started to slide his hand down on my ass and started to squeeze them. He wanted me so badly that his hands were all over my body. I could feel the heat from his body. I must admit, I was horny. Just knowing that Mark wanted me and Alex was in the very next room. Mark started to slide his hand up my dress. He started to touch my pussy. I was wet. He started to place his fingers inside my pussy feeling the inner walls. Mark's dick was hard as I could feel it. He pressed himself tightly against me. Mark said, " I want you so bad. I want to fuck you now". I looked into his eyes and said, " You feel me wet, right?? So fuck me".

Alex was done placing the groceries away. He heard us in the next room. He wanted to look but didn't know if he should. He knew what I was doing. He knew I was going to fuck Mark. He new the rules. He knew that he could not have me when Mark was with me. Alex silently sat on the kitchen chair. He listened. He knew that he was not to make a noise when I was with Mark.

Mark started to kiss me more. I wanted Alex to hear what I was doing. I started to yell, "Fuck me Mark, Fuck me". Mark looked at me and started to unzip his pants. He pulled down his pants and pushed me over the chair in our living room. He wanted to fuck me from behind. Mark loved feeling my ass against him and he loved to fuck me this way. He put his dick into my pussy. He started to fuck me hard and fast. Mark could never get enough of me. Mark started to fuck me hard, I wanted Alex to hear. I am not a moaner but I moaned hard and loud so he could hear. I started to yell, "Mark, fuck me, make me feel like a woman should feel. I love your hard big dick". Mark was turned on by me yelling and making him feel more manly.

I then yelled to Alex, "Alex, baby please come, I need you to see Mark cum all over me. I want you to see how I enjoy Mark's dick". Alex started to walk over to us. He seen my ass straight up in the air and Marks dick pumping me. Alex sat down like a boy that just got in trouble. He held his hands sitting down and his head in a downward position and his eyes looking up. I smiled at Alex and yelled, "Mark, fuck me baby, I want Alex to see. He needs to see how a man needs to make a woman feel". Mark started to pump me. Mark started to moan as he was ready to cum.

Mark pulled out his dick and had cum all over my ass.

I looked over at Alex and said, "Now come and fuck me. I need to cum too. I want you to feel the juice that Mark left inside of me. I want you to feel how wet you need to make me... Just like Mark does".

Alex started to take out his dick. He seen my ass covered with Marks cum. He had to fuck me that way. Alex loved to see me naked, nonetheless how I look naked. He loved me so much that he would fuck me with cum all over me.

Alex started to fuck me. He felt I was wet as Mark had left some cum inside of me. He felt me very slippery. He started to fuck me. Mark started to kiss me. As I had Alex fucking me and Mark kissing me, it was very exciting. I started to cum very quick. Then I yelled, "Hurry up and cum Alex, this is boring. Finish quick or I will be forced to make you stop and you will not cum". Alex obeyed. He tried very hard to cum.

I looked at Mark and said, "Baby, can you talk dirty to me so I can imagine it is you fucking me.. I want you and love the way your dick feels." Mark smiled and said, "Of course baby, imagine me fucking you. Imagine me being the one to make you feel good". I started to cum again, imagining Mark fucking me. I started to moan a little and Alex started to cum. He had cum inside of me.

"OK, Alex Start licking all the cum on me and what is coming out of my pussy", I yelled. Alex started to obey. He started to lick my ass and my pussy. I started to caress his hair and said, "That is how I like it".

I whispered in your ear, "I love you"

When I’m Gone

When I’m Gone

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Your my super man

Your my super man

You are my super man.

You are the one that brings me joy.

You are the one that brings me peace.

You are the one that picks me up when I am down.

You are my solver of all emotions.

You are every girls dreams.

You are the man I have always dreamed of.

You are my destiny.

You are my everything.

The best thing of all, is that you are mine!

Love will come

Love will come

You buried my soul in the hills of loneliness. You told me lies by lies.

You only took my hand and lead me into darkness. A darkness never felt nor seen before. I didn't feel alone but you deceived me. You deceived my feelings, thoughts and soul. I left myself behind somewhere along the way. I don't even remember. It was something that was not expected.

The grains I feel on my feet hurt. Its painful just like what my heart feels. I can't see the sand, I think its sand. Its rough and grainy. It hurts my feet just like my heart does. My feet becomes numb as we have been walking this long hurtful path for awhile. i wonder if it ever had an end. I wondered how long before this painful path would see some light.

I need my own light back. You took it. I cant find it. I am lost. I need help. You took all what i had left in my world. you took my dignity, self respect and most important, my soul.

I feel lost. I see no light. I only hear the cry of my soul. I know that it is you taking it and doing what you please with it.

This is not fair. I trusted you. I thought you were going to take care of it as you promised. False promises, false hope and false dreams.

?? How could you. ??

I thought you were the one for me.

Why?

Why did u do this to me?

I loved you. I gave you my all.

The love you promised was over rated. Something that i believed in.

Once more, my trust and love stomped on with no remorse.

I don't wish any wrong for you. I don't know what hatred is, as i have lost that a long time ago. I only know how to love and forgive.

You are a deceiver. You deceive everyone in your path. How can you live with yourself like this??

How can you keep on with lies??. You are a lie. You deceive. You certainly cannot be happy living like this.

I know one thing. You will never be happy living like this. You will only have deceit, unfaithfulness and loneliness in your life. Not because i wish it upon you, but because this is the only thing you know to do.

One day when you find your love, the one you decide to give your all, your love and trust, karma will come and bite you. When it does I and all the rest will be gone like the wind. You will regret and by then it will be too late. You may not see it coming. It will creep up on you when you least expect it. When it does, this will remind you of us, all the broken hearts you broke. It will be too late.

Don't worry, I will still be your friend and i will help you through the right path.

I was a loser too, and I will help you not to be.

My eyes

My eyes

My eyes call you. My eyes talk to you.

What do they say today?

What can you make out of them?

Everyone are drawn by my eyes, so what would you say?

I can tell you what my eyes say.

At times, they have their own thoughts and own words.
People tell me all the time.
They tell me what my eyes say.

Funny isn't it? In all past life stories mention about my eyes being seductive.
They mention me to be sexy and sensual.
In this life everyone comments the same.
Could it be a coincidence?
I know it is not.

Tell me, Lancelot.. Was this something planned by us so that you could have a sign of me?

Was this something that you and I have decided and planned?

Only you and I know. You tell me.. Help me fill in the puzzle. As you are my missing piece and I need you to complete my story.

I love you Lancelot. I need you to complete our story!

Have you noticed?

Have you noticed?

Click on the topic name for FULL blog

Men

Men

Men are beautiful beings just like woman are.

They are wired different than girls that is for sure.

I wish I could be a guy for a day, just so that I can feel and see how a man reacts, thinks and feel. How different are men than girls? We all have the same things besides their hormones and gentiles, right? Well, I really think that both of our hormones are wired different and we feel different. I am not a doctor nor study health, but I lived with two frogs, this is what I see.

My sons are very emotional. Is this because they are young or is it because they are always with an emotional mother..LOL Not sure.

Men are what makes a woman feel sexy, secure, beautiful and satisfy us sexually. OK, I will hear a lot of people disagreeing with me on this one. But, really think about this for a second. Really, think on this one. If you are attached, I am sure if your mate does not make you feel this way then there is a problem. If you are attached and you do feel this, congrats to you, you are one of the few. If you are a woman that is a lesbian, then think about this, because I am sure that at one point in your life you may have experienced this and if not, then that is OK. Your preference is different on a preference level. This is totally OK. (Who gives a F*&%$ what others think, right?)

I know that when I think about a man, those qualities come to mind and I get a fuzzy feeling when I think about this. I may have experienced maybe one or two of these qualities in my past frogs, however things changed, they changed, maybe I changed too, but regardless, it was not how I wanted it to turn out. I held on as much as I could but, things happen for a reason!

When I think about Lancelot, he will have all of these qualities. He will make me feel sexy, secure, beautiful and satisfy me sexually. I must admit, I love writing this piece and smiles over rule my body. Even thinking about Lancelot gets me wet.. LMAO

There are men that love football.. Football fans, LISTEN or should I say READ..... I see this a lot.. A man prefers football over sex.. WHY IS THIS?? Tell me something, if your team was playing and your mate gets naked, you will do one of two things. You will either tell her, "Honey, later... They are about to score". Or you will say, "OK, but let me see the screen while we do it".. Is this something romantic for you? LOL

Girls, when a man is watching football, place a football between your legs, I am sure you will catch their attention. If they are NOT watching football and still do NOT want sex, place a football in between your legs, it should work..

Men, you need to satisfy your girls if you want your relationship to work. The same with the girls, it goes both ways.

OPEN is the key. This is something I didn't have with my first frog. He was abusive and I was afraid to be OPEN with him. After I left him, he became freaky and obsessed with sex. Damn, why could he not be that way with me? If he would have been that way and had gone into anger management and fixed his anger issues than we would have been together today. Now, on to the second frog.. He was all talk no action. He didn't want to be as open as he said he would..

Men, you suck at times. Let me tell you why.. You talk the talk and walk the walk. If you cant do it, simply say NO. Dont keep us hanging thinking that we will have a freaky opportunity and then we don't.. WTF??

Men, if you promise something, just DO IT!! Don't promise and under deliver. This sucks!!

Men, bottom line is this.... If you want your girl to be freaky, to love you the way you want to be loved, I will tell you the secret to have this happen with your relationship... ARE YOU READY????

• Be open with your partner. Tell her your fantasies.


• Be and continue to be Romantic. This does not end, no expiration dates.


• Satisfy her needs, not materially but EMOTIONALLY. Men, get this one confused.


• Call or text her during the day. Something sexual, something that will make her feel good.


• Make her feel beautiful. A woman loves this.. "Honey, you look beautiful today"


• Notice her more. Is that a new dress?? New lipstick??


• Make her feel you want her and only her. This is important.. This will take away jealousy. She will feel secure of you.


• When she comes home, help her with house work or the kids.. Smile about it and DONT do it if you only want something!! (BIG)


• Tell her that you LOVE HER, all the time.. Not only for sex.


• Make everyday a different day, stay AWAY from routine


• Consistency is key, do it everyday.

If you are not used to doing this. You start to do it, she will ask questions. She may think you are cheating. All these weird things WILL go through her head. Tell her that you want to change your ways and show her the love you have for her. If you are consistent, she will be more secure and she will stop asking or wondering down the road.

This sounds like a HUGE list, but it really is int. It is all about being emotional to a girl. We ARE emotional beings. You are probably thinking, "Oh, I know all this already, this is nothing new". But do you actually do it? The answer most likely is NO.

Men, if you are on the rocks with your girl and want to make it work, especially if you have kids, I promise you that is if its not too late, do all of the above. SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. It may NOT be greener on the other side like you might think.. Take it from me, I am dick less now and it is NOT fun.. LMAO.. Pussy for you will be harder to find unless you pay for it, then it would for me to get dick and i would get it FREE!!

How I love you

I will not love you as long as you live, HOWEVER I will love you as long as I live!!

Light finally set

Light finally set

After the war, only ashes, death, and dullness set in.

After something dies, new birth sets in. I finally seen light after the storm and what I created. I finally heard nothing. Everything was still. Everything started to become peaceful. Finally, I was out. I lived. I no longer felt like I wanted to die.

I seen people come out. People started to hug me, like if God had come and taken his. I felt a void. It was like nothing ever felt before. It was a void but a void with happiness in it. Too weird to describe. I didn't feel like a loser anymore. I felt at peace.

I have finally seen my true friends come and console me.
I finally seen new faces to assure me things are OK.
I finally seen that love from friends do exist.
This was a true eye opener.

But, I still am standing. I am alive. I am whole.

I had finally feel whole, through-out this whole storm.
I finally found GOD.. Someone that never left me.
Someone that gave me hope.
Someone that made me feel like me again.
I was another person.

I now have riches, wow.. Gold all around me.. No more begging
I finally found security, not by man but by ME.
I finally found that I Was valuable, everyone wants me.
I finally found a place to tell my story, to help You.
I finally found peace, with me.
I finally felt pure love, but from my kids.

I can only give gratitude of everything that has happened to me, as I have learned a hard but valuable lesson.
I have learned never to be decieving, as it will come out of nowhere and hit you badly.
I have learned not to look for love, it will come when its meant to be.
I have learned to love everyone and never be evil, as you will only have loving people around you.
I have learned to keep peace within me, so that peace will always be with me.
I have learned to trust, because trust is something that will keep me with people I love.

I have learned to share my story to help those in the same way and storm I was in and to assure YOU that YOU WILL make it, just like I did.

I made it with 5 children, A home, A car and being self employed (Sparatic income).

If I can do it, So can you!!

Head up, have faith and you can rock the world like I.

I no longer have to worry, as I am a foundation that is solid.
I can leave tomorrow and never have to worry.
I have me to thank!

Kiss goodbye to you Frog

Kiss goodbye to you Frog

I kissed you goodbye, but you are determined to hold on, not let go. I kissed you goodbye for a reason. There was no hate when I did it. I felt bad that I let you go. But, I had to do it. This was not meant for us. Better things, better people will come into our lives. They will come into our reality because it is destined. It is written. We need to let go so that we can make things better for both of us. Things will go better. You will have a better life. I asked my angels to help you with this. Your angels will carry you to a better life. Just Trust.

I keep on trying to make things better for you. You refuse to let go. Maybe I babied you too much because I felt guilty. Guilty because I had created a monster for both of us. Rushing into us. Rushing and trying to cover a past wound from my first frog to make me feel better. I must admit, I was very selfish and drew you into something that was not fair. My emotional baggage, my hurt, my pain. I am a loser. I admit this.

I wanted this to be easy for you. You converted your love to revenge and hatred. You had all the right too. I am a loser. I am dirt. I am nothing.

You tried to destroy me and bravo, you did. I took you to see your parents all on my expense overseas. I gave you money every month. You took advantage of me. You took every penny I had in my account and left. You left me with the little debt I had and 5 kids. You didn't care if they had anything to eat. You didn't care if they were OK. You were ugly about this all.

You told me that I should have thought twice before leaving you. How could you??. We have children together. You stole all of my money. I worked hard for it, you bastard. I am left begging people for money. I was left trying to keep a home for my kids.

We ate rice everyday because of YOU!! You ate with my money and you ate very well. You dined your new girlfriends, we were left hungry. You bought yourself new clothes and paid off your car. I was left trying to take out old clothes to clothe my kids. How could you. You did it out of anger. I cried every f#&** night, not knowing what to do or where to turn.

But, you know what.... I DID IT, I MADE IT. I am another person.

I have, you still are trying. I love, you are still looking. I'm strong, you are weak.

I never once desired bad for you, through all this turmoil and deceit, I only asked my angels to amend your heart, because I knew deep down through all the anguish and not knowing where to turn this was not YOU. You were hurt and I was the loser to cause it.

I only hope that you will not do what I did to you to someone else.