Are you scared?

I started to think about you today. As you know, this is nothing different.

I have been overwhelmed with work today. I am blessed. I am not complaining, I'm overwhelmed. I wish you were here, so I could have at least a smile of yours in front of me so that I have something to look forward too.

I will have an overwhelming week. I need to go by the radio station tomorrow and do another radio show, as I do once a month. This means more work. Again, not being ungrateful. I just wish you were by my side so that I could feel some support.

I need a cheerleader by my side at times. It gets old, doing the same old thing every single day. I wonder if you feel the same way?

I sometimes see you online, I am sure you are busy like I. I wonder if you will take the time to say Hi. Wow, this hurts when you don't. But, I understand. You are busy. Will it be this way when we are together? I often wonder if this will be the case. I feel like I am abandoned and not needed. I wonder if this is how our life will be? I usually think that if it starts off this way, will it always be this way?

Maybe, you are scared and not knowing through the unknown you feel protective and do not want to get close?

I am lost within my own body. I am lost within you. Why do I feel this way? I am supposed to feel secure. I am supposed to feel that you love me or feel for me.

I am not sure what to feel. The only thing I can think of is that you are scared? You tell me what you think.

I do not want to get hurt or start something that will not last. I REFUSE and know that you will appreciate my feelings.

But Lancelot, I am scared too. I am in the unknown just like you.

I guess this is normal. However it may be, just know that I love you!!