Goodbye is the hardest thing I need to do. It hurts so bad. I know that it has only been a couple of months since we have talked. I cannot do this anymore. I am hurting badly and need to let go.
The saying of "If it comes back it's yours" Well, I need to exercise my right. I am only getting confused and I love myself this much not to confuse myself anymore. If I cannot have an understandment of what we have, I MUST let go. I am confused more than ever and this is NOT like me.
I must continue my journey. My journey of me. The one that will show me where I need to be. The route of happiness. I am not sure where I will end up. All I know is that I am not giving up. If you show back up in my path it was because we were meant for each-other, if not, than good luck and I only wish you well. I only wish well, I don't know what the feeling of hate feels like, as I have let that go a long time ago.
We both will need time to figure out what we really want. I know that I need to stay strong.
I am lightning in the storm of love that I hold. The storm is ready to break but, I am also the lightning that sustains me. The strong bolt that will keep me from getting hurt.
I only want happiness for you. I cannot hold on something that will lead into nowhere. I am who I am, you are who you are. If it is to be, than we will cross paths one day. That day will be the day that we both will know that it is to be. I will be in your area one day. When I am, maybe we will bump into each other and that day we will know that it is to be. Only the Universe will know.
I give gratitude to our Universe for having the pleasure in meeting you. In having the pleasure of feeling your energy. In having the pleasure of having such a strong loving person in my life.
If it was not meant to be, I give you all my love so that your love will be stronger to love someone else and you will be extremely happy. This is all I desire. My love for you is this great, that I only want to see you happy. I am willing to let you go so that you can be eternally happy. Tears run down my face when writing this. I can barely see the letters on my key pad because the tears will not stop falling. It hurts this bad but I only want your happiness. I am willing to hurt and suffer in silence for your happiness.
Please don't hurt when you read this. This is the last thing that I want you to feel. Believe me when I say that I only want your happiness.
When you first came into my life, I was confused. I felt your energy and I loved it. I seen your soul and I fell in love with you, not even knowing why. You asked if I had commitment phobia, I know I don't. I commit with my eyes closed and I always end up hurt. My fault for not being careful. Now that I have you, I hurt. I hurt because I feel you distant and MUST give you your space. I cant stand this feeling but I must do it for you. I only want you to know that no matter what, I am here for you. If you find someone, I will be here to cheer you on. I will be your best friend, your confident. Just know that I only want you to be happy.
This will be the last letter you receive from me. I will be here when you need me. I will not call, text nor e-mail you anymore. If you need a shoulder to cry on or need to talk to me, please do not hesitate to call me. I will ALWAYS be here for you. Just know that my love for you is strong and I will ALWAYS be here for you. I will do Anything for you.
If we are to be together, the Universe will have us find each other. I know she will!!
I understand. .completely. I am going through this exact process..oh! How it hurts! Like a part of your soul..is shattered
ReplyDeleteI understand. .completely. I am going through this exact process..oh! How it hurts! Like a part of your soul..is shattered
ReplyDeleteHow are coping with the twin flame situation, 4 years later?
DeleteHow do you let go wanting him too be happy, knowing he believes you are the only one who makes him happy;Yet you know being with him will only lead to more heartache for you. 💔 I'm so confused.
ReplyDeleteThe pain is so deep, so physically debilitating at times, that I don’t know how to handle it. How to let go. How to say goodbye for real. He has no remorse. None... even moments hearing his verbal abuse towards me he blamed ME-like I instigated it. Nothing gets thru to this man. I am bewildered by his selfishness and absence of empathy towards what he’s done to me. The hurt. I can’t believe it’s real. I do want him to be happy, but just not yet lol. I want him to hurt like I hurt. Canceling a wedding, cleaning up the pieces alone, while he has zero responsibility to handle any of it. I’m mortified telling family, friends and vendors that our love is no more... how could this be?! HOW IS THIS REAL?! Not us.... not us. I barely believe in god but I have been bawling and hurting so hard I have literally dropped to my knees begging for release of this man. When will it get easier... when will I be able to really let go....
ReplyDelete