Bye

Saying Goodbye is the hardest thing to do.

I have always been the one to say goodbye. It is not easy to be on either side. It is a hard thing to do.

When you are not happy or need to say Bye, you need to have the courage to do it to make life better for either person. People say that a partnership should stay together under all circumstances.I used to agree to this, however I disagree. I refuse to be unhappy. I will not be in a relationship that will make me cry, hurt or be abused. Children do not need to see this as they are the example of their parents. It hurts when I say this because, I have not been a good example for my children, as the only thing they know is separation and divorce. I am not happy about this nor proud. I want to turn their lives around and be the example they need in their life. If only life had a manual, without religion, without judgements and have instructions on what would make us truly happy. This world would only be love. It will never know hate.

My children have only seen me say goodbye to the men in my life. I don't want them to take on the same examples. I want them to say hello and forever, endless happiness.

Goodbye's are needed when a wrong decision is made. It is hard to do. I must admit. I cannot deny that my life has not been easy. I have not only have said goodbye to the men in my life but also to friends. Everyone at one time had to say goodbye to someone in their life. Reasons were decided on why the "Goodbye" were decided.

I have gone through a detox stage in my life, where I needed to say goodbye to the last frog in my life. I had to say goodbye to the friends that were really never friends and had to say goodbye to my stubborn ego that refuses to leave.

The only thing we can do it say our "Goodbye" and make our new life a better one.

Reducing the "Goodbye" in your life will show you the growth in your life. The progress of right decisions. The happiness we all so long deserve.

I know that my life has made a huge turn around in a very quick timing. It feels overwhelming and sometimes I fall to the ground thinking I cannot take anymore beatings on my heart. I cannot take all the lies, the hurt, the pain. I feel like a failure and I feel like I should leave everything and just start new. I feel like crying, screaming, kicking, yelling, and pulling my hair. I feel I need to take lipstick drawl it all over my face, rip my clothes off, and sit and cry. Doing all this will not get me on the path I need to be.

I start to hear the little voice in my head that says, get up, take a shower, get dressed and become beautiful. He is coming. He will take you out of misery. He will make you happy. He has his arms open, ready to take you in and make you feel secure. You are almost through this misery and have done a great job in taking all the beatings. The rain is almost done and the sun is coming out. Can you see the end of your tunnel?? There is your soul, its coming back to you.. You will be whole again and you will have your heart back full to love again.

This is why I pick myself back again.. Because I know in the back of my mind, I don't need to say goodbye anymore. I will love again and will love forever!!