Forbidden Love

This one makes me sad.

Forbidden love could be a nice pleasuring fantasy. What hurts me the most is that some people take forbidden love for granted and too far.

When I separated and divorced my husband. News flew amongst friends and family. I was  in a very hard position because I was the one who initiated the separation. I was the one who had to explain the "Why" of it all. I held strong to my decision. It was not based on infidelity nor Hasty decisions.  It was based on mental treatment and how my children where being treated. It was a very sad situation (This is another topic).

It is very surprising as to how many spouses of my female friends approached me to "Console" me. I was receiving phone calls and text from these married men and even male friends. It was very overwhelming. To this day, I receive calls and text from guys that want to "Console" me or to be a fuck buddy. The sad part of it all, is that some of their wives knew  their husbands called me and text me. I guess they thought I was free bait for a three some. I am not sure. But what gets me is that even though I have turned all of them down, they still continue to call and try determinedly to "Change" my mind. Why is this?? I had a couple of them tell me that if I change my mind or give in, they would leave their wives for me. This really concerned me because what type of man would leave his family for me? What is so special about me? Nothing really, if I would give in they would find another hurt soul out there and do the same thing. They just showed me that I cannot trust them and that they are bad men. Men that are not happy.

I feel like guys don't care to hurt womans feelings. They dont care. I cannot say all men are all the same. I respect those men that are honest and stay loyal to their wives. Those are the rare ones that are supportive and at their wifes side.

At times I feel like I am a piece of meat ready to be devoured by wolves. It is sad and heart breaking. Why are people this way?

Its funny because I recieve more offers to do handy man work at my home then I ever have. These men that tell me how beautiful I am and how sexy I look. They tell me that I look very young and have the personality that they have always wanted in a girl. They say that they love the way i walk, talk, think, great mother and how responsible I am. This is all great, but why are they telling me this if they are attached?? Why not respect their partner?

Someone told me that I should be very flattered at this. That being beautiful has its up and downs. To take advantage of this. To be honest, I never seen myself as beautiful, I see myself as an average person that loves life and want to be simply happy. Why take advantage of people, this sounds so lame. This sounds like you are trying to get what you want only through beauty. I may be naive, but I like to earn what I have. I don't want to owe anyone anything. I want to be me.

Why is it so hard to find a true friend, that will honestly listen to your feelings and help you for you without receiving a sexual benefit. I have found a handful of men that are not looking for sex and let me tell you I can count my fingers on one hand.

I had one husband that would offer to bring extra wood for my fireplace beacuse at his work they had too many and they were throwing them away. I said."Sure". He came and after unloading the wood, he said that he deserved something, like a kiss or peep show. How lame is this.. Of course I said "NO" .

I am tired. I am overwhelmed, these guys that think they can over step their boundries because a woman is single or they feel she is lonely.

Guys, It is OK to fantasize, maybe in silence or with your spouse, but respect those that are not wanting a fling, or encounters. I have made it very clear that I am very celibate and want to give myself fully to Lancelot. I don't want to date, I don't want to have a fuck buddy, I don't want anyone in my life but Lancelot. Once I see him, I will know. Once I touch him I will know. Once I kiss him, that will be confirmation.