Giving Up

I had thought about giving up. Giving up completely. I thought that if I give up and start another journey there would be something better for me. Then I started to think a little further into it and honestly, I cant let you go. I try and something tells me that you need to be in my life. You will bring me joy and happiness. I sometimes think I am worth nothing and you deserve far better. Then I hear that voice in my head, that says I am crazy because I am perfect for you. The voice says that you want me the way I am. You will love me more knowing what a true warrior I am. The voice said, that you want me to hurry my transition because you are anxious to be with me.

Is this so? Could this be?

I sometimes wonder if you will wait for me. If you will be there when I am done with my transition. I don't want to be hurt knowing after I have finally gone through all of my pain, changes, and loneliness, you will not be there. You decide to "Settle" and not wait. The little voice, once again tells me that you will wait. You will never settle. You are more anxious than I am to be with me. You dream with me every night so that you could feel close to me until we unite. The voice says that you will never abandon me because you know that we need each other. The voice says that you say, "Goodnight" to me every night before you go to bed because you know I can feel it from a far.

Wow, I feel loved. I dont want to give up anymore. I want to be by your side.

The voices told me that Love will begin for me with you soon. It is destined and that after the transition for me is over, you will enter into my life ready to sweep us off of our feet. The transition is almost done, I can feel it. It is where it needs to be. The voice also said that you will come and rescue me like you have in our past life. I feel secure knowing that you will be here very soon to rescue me.

I forever love you Lancelot. I do!!